I will always love her.

When I was about ten years old, I remember walking around the house, walkman on my head, singing to Whitney. I loved her clean, pure voice. I loved her catchy songs. I saw her "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" video and I got a perm (although it never quite looked the way I thought it would.) I even named a look-a-like Barbie after her. The last time I karaoked, I sang "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" and it was every bit as fun as it was when I was ten.

When I was in the eighth grade, I got my hair done in a super cool fish tail braid and danced with the cute boy to "Greatest Love of All." I watched The Bodyguard, and Waiting to Exhale, and The Preacher's Wife...ok, I bought The Preacher's Wife and watched it over and over again. I sang to the album, My Love is Your Love in my car on the way to and from The University of Akron.

    If tomorrow is judgment day (Sing Mommy)
    And I'm standing on the front line
    And the Lord asks me what I did with my life
    I will say I spent it with you

I didn't watch the train wreck. I didn't give her ratings for the bad behavior or the bad choices. I did watch every single moment of her interview with Oprah, hoping her health would be back, but so sad to hear that her lifestyle had all but destroyed that pure voice. 

I watched her so closely. Her beauty. Her nose, how it scrunched up, how she tapped her hand on the mic to feel the beat, her smile that just showed how much she loved what she was doing. And that is what I will remember.

So yes, I am sad. Very, very sad. Probably more sad than I should be for a person that I didn't know, who made so many bad choices and ruined her life and her talent with drugs. It really was inevitable. You cannot live that way and continue on. It will end badly, one way or the other if you do not change-for good and forever. But I am still sad. I am sad because she is the reason I decided that is what I wanted to do. The reason why I wanted to sing.

So I will continue to unabashedly sing her songs. I will tap the mic a few times when I sing. And I will always love her.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Sniff. That was lovely, and you captured her perfectly.

[Cassie]

Beautiful, Will...Just beautiful. Crying again. Love those lyrics. Gonna steal them!

[nadine]

I am not at all attached to Whitney Houston, but I do like to randomly burst into "I wanna dance with somebody!" at the bar.

[Katherine]

Addiction is an illness; bad choices are a side effect. It's right to be sad. Very sad.

I love "My Love is Your Love" even more than her classics. Strange how that song still seems new to me, even though its over 10 years old.

[shelly brewer]

I feel the same way. I have so many memories that go along with her songs. The Bodyguard soundtrack was my go-to in college. She was the first cassette I bought. I am sad.

[Helen]

That was beautiful.